Take That!

Emily and Jace despise each other…or do they?

For weeks they’ve been constantly bickering before and after class. During a speaking test, Emily expresses her disdain for the likes of Jace and explains that his efforts to bring her down continue during regular school. She is sad, she is heartbroken.

Jace, on the other hand, is unaffected by her cool words and seems to relish in her inability to correctly construct solid comebacks in English to his quick quips. But Jace is lacking too. And unfortunately, but fortunately for me and you, he is unable to correct and maybe is even unaware of his speaking blunder that involves replacing the letter L with R (despite several attempts to fix it).

And thus begins, the tale of Tuesday…or maybe it was Thursday.

Anyways, it’s a normal day. A shorter work day. The bell has rung indicating that it is time to head to my favorite afternoon class. I enter the classroom and the students are unusually quiet, which is a sign that something has just happened. I decide to let things play out to see if the unknown issue is over or if it will somehow continue. I take role.

“Hello David!” “Good bye teacher!” Ugh.
“Hello Ella!” “Hello teacher!” Yay!
“Hello Jace!” “Jace not here!” Of course.
“Hello Emily!” “Teacher Jace not nice to me! Jace say the mean things before class!”

Jace starts to get worked up. He’s going to say something. Emily looks like she’s about to cry. Oh dear.
“Jace. Did you say something mean to Emily?”
“Teacher, I did not say.” Jace starts to break into a smile. Yes, he did.

Emily’s rage reaches a new level as she grabs all of her books (there are 7 of them for this class) and rushes to Jace’s chair acting like she’s going to clobber him on the head.

“Emily, if you do that, I’ll have to give you a yellow card.” Of course I wouldn’t really give her a yellow card – unless she hit him pretty hard.

“Yeah. Take that...Emirrrrry!”

The Puke Factory

It’s Monday. I’ve just finished teaching science to my preschoolers. The experiment for the day consisted of creating a rocket and using a spring, launching it into the air. We counted down…10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. LIFT OFF!!!! 11 rockets (well, paper cups actually) went zooming into the air in all directions and 11 children squealed with delight. It was chaos. It was loud. It was fun! Little did I know, the term projectile, would come up again that day.

Now it’s time for afternoon classes. We’ve been talking about time, the weather, and clothes in this unit. “How many days are there in one week? How many weeks are there in one year?” My students have only seen me three times a week since March and they can already answer these kinds of questions – and, they’re 8 years old (picture at left (these are most of the students in the class)). We continue with the warm up.

The shy kids do their best to go unnoticed, but I like everyone to be included in the conversation. One of my shyest students, Samuel, refuses to answer a question and remains completely silent. Strange…he always tries to answer or will at least give me the eye to tell me the questions is too tough for him. I ask someone to help him out and continue the lesson thinking maybe he’s just tired.

James continues to try to answer every question without being asked for the answer. Tom continues to hum the tune that’s in his head. Alex continues to tell others “Don’t speak Korean!” and Samuel keeps his eyes focused on his book. It’s a normal class, right?
I turn my back to write a sentence on the board and then… “Teacher!!!! Teacher!!!! Samuel!!!!” James is shouting from across the room.

I stare in horror as a jet stream of cottage cheese erupts from Samuel’s mouth. But it’s not cottage cheese. I look for the box of tissues and note the location of the garbage can. “Where are the tissues?” I shout out. I run to the garbage can and start saying repeatedly, “Samuel are you ok?” His eyes are half closed and he remains hunched over his Student Book which is now covered in chunky, white vomit. James locates the box of tissues for me and I drag the garbage can over to Samuel’s seat. The kids are all staring at the puke as though they don’t want to look but just cannot look away. “It’s OK, Samuel.” I try to make him feel better but know that he probably feels awful (and embarrassed).

I cover the puke with tissues and then realize that that will not do in this situation. I attempt to move Samuel so his head is over the garbage can, but he won’t move. And then, ding ding ding!!! Round 2 comes. More vomit fills the Student Book and starts to ooze over onto the table. The kids are screaming. The smell is vile. I start to gag and then, I almost puke into the garbage can myself. I am dry heaving. My students are running to the corners of the room. It seems they are about to vomit as well. Is this really happening? It felt like we were all part of a movie. Whether or not it’s a horror or comedy film is for you to decide.

“Susanna! Go tell the desk teacher to call your mother!” Susanna is Samuel’s twin sister who has also been watching the situation unfold. She understands and leaves the room immediately. Then I realize that I need to start cleaning up this room and fast.

The students continue to stare and look away and stare and look away at the ghastly scene. “Nobody move. I’ll be right back!” I run down the hallway and ask the desk teachers for a mop and paper towels. They set into motion and I go to grab a stack of towels from the girls’ bathroom myself knowing that the desk teachers would have to come in here anyways and I might save them time. And then, the vile smell replays in my nose and I dry heave not once, but twice.

I try to recover quickly and run back to the classroom. Two of the desk teachers, Chloe and Hailey, have come to the rescue with a mop. The windows are fully open and all of the students are trying to breathe fresh air coming in. The return to the smell brings about another dry heave and the desk teachers freak out thinking I’m going to puke. “Oh teacher!!!!!” Luckily I didn’t. I start to help with the cleanup process and send the students to get water and go to the bathroom. Hailey sprays the room with an odor eater solution and the classroom starts to smell better instantly.

Samuel still remains in the same chair almost in a state of shock. “Are you ok?” He looks up at me, finally, and gives me a head nod. We gather his things and he and Susanna leave the room and the school for the day.

Upon their exit, my students began to replay the scene that had just unfolded. Fake vomiting noises trying to be able to explain in English what happened prompted a quick lesson in the different terms and now, some of my students, who remember well, can effectively use the word vomit in all of its tenses.

I am proud of my students for the way they handled the situation. They did not laugh at Samuel or say mean things during the incident and wished him well as he left the classroom that day. The next class, no one picked on Samuel or made fun of him either, when they very well could have. They instead, asked him if he was ok. It showed me how much this class has bonded over the last 11 months and my overwhelming pride is proof to me how much they have had an impact on me.

Top 10 List

Well, I’ve been here for 10 months. I think it’s time to share with you the reason for staying yet another year in this wonderful country.

10. Hiking. There are so many beautiful places to go hiking whether it’s in Seoul or around the country. Due to my bout with illness in the fall I missed two hikes, but aim to visit Bukhansan and Seoraksan in the Spring.

9. Ondol Heat System. Imagine your feet are never cold. In the dead of winter, you come home, take off your shoes, take off your socks and your feet are nice and toasty warm. No more jewelry falling down the heating vents, no more is there a need to lean over the vent to get warm. Just lie down on the floor because the whole thing is heated!!!

8. Restaurants. They’re not trying to take you for all your money – just the chain restaurants from America. You can get a full meal complete with the main dish and endless side dishes for around $5! And the food is good for you. And it tastes good too! It’s a Christmas miracle!

7. Public Transportation. So convenient and relatively inexpensive. The subway trains can take you anywhere you need to go in the city. The bus routes are laid out pretty well too. Although, the bus can be its own amusement park ride at times…as my Aunt Sue would say, “Hang on to your pantyhose!” No, really…hang on to something. The buses are all stick shifts and some of the drivers are…well…fascinating as to how and where they obtained a drivers license.

6. My Korean Tutor…he’s cute. Enough said.

5. Street Food Vendors. Hotteok is amazing. It’s a pancake with brown sugary deliciousness inside. And then there’s shawarma for a late night snack. And Tteokbokki. And kabobs. And it’s cheap – I know you’ll like that Dad.

4. Going to the movies. For one, you don’t pay an arm and a leg for concessions. You can get a “couples” package that includes 2 sodas and a huge popcorn for under $7. And…the best part…you get to pick your seats before getting into the theatre. So no more lineups for Harry Potter afraid that you won’t be able to sit with the rest of your crew. No more fights over the back rows and you are no longer forced to sit in the front row if you are late. You have a seat reserved! It’s fantastic! Why don’t they do that in the States?

3. Health care. It’s affordable and medicine too doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg. Now making an appointment with a non-English speaking receptionist might be a challenge but who cares? Typically 3-5 days of medicine will cost around $5 (unless you get an inhaler or U.S. drug – then it’s very expensive (but not as expensive as the States).

2. Korean Dramas. I have spent many happy hours watching Korean Dramas on the internet. Check out KimchiDrama.net and watch Sungkyunkwan Scandal, Dr. Champ, Boys Over Flowers, and Athena (the newest one). Yes, some of it may be a little cheesy, but it’s nice to dive into another world for a while…or a long while.

1. My kids. The kids I teach are just so cute. Even when they’re bad, and not listening, and talking because they’re trying to tattle on each other, and picking their noses until they bleed, and attempting to punch the boy across the room because that boy said that the other boy has a crush on a girl in the classroom, I still just love them. And when you can teach them something and they actually learn it, it’s amazing. I’m truly happy teaching these kids even on my worst day.

So those are the basics of why I’m staying here. Now I could think of a few more, but perhaps I’ll save that for next year’s list ;)